Meeting this incredible young man seemed so logical that I didn't give it much thought. I was already in love with him because he was a part of this incredible man I was falling in love with. Why worry about it? That was until I was driving to the restaurant to meet him for the first time. I had busied myself all day with anything I could come up with to distract me from the nerves that were building. I'd gone from being self assured and certain this kid would love me to sweaty palms, a flush face, and the inability to form a complete thought not to mention a complete sentence. Yes, I was scared out of my mind. So scared in fact that I pulled over on the side of the road to vomit on the way there. Yes, the thought of meeting a 13 year old made me so nervous I became physically ill.
I couldn't figure it out. Our relationship was perfect. We were made for each other and knew it from the start. So what was there to be so afraid of? After all, he was 13 and probably out of the biting stage. In fact, for me 13 was perfect. I hate to say it but I'm not a little kid kind of person. I love them and we adore the small children of our dear friends but on a daily basis, I'm just not built for someone I can't have a logical conversation with. To make things even better, he was a 13 year old boy. I had been the 13 year old girl with a step mom and was well aware of the challenges that brought. This was the kind of situation I'd been asking for all these years, so why was I getting physically ill on the side of the road? Thank God for Altoids!
The truth is my relationship with the future hubs was so great I was afraid it would be destroyed if his son didn't like me. That's the thing about being an "ish", your entire relationship can be made or destroyed by the mood of a preteen. Think about it. Kids are challenging and kids who aren't happy about their present situation are even more challenging. This meant that this relationship was contingent on all of us deciding this was right. It's hard enough to get 2 people on the same page in a dating relationship but 3 or more often feels impossible.
In no way am I suggesting that becoming Momish is harder than becoming Mom. However, I am suggesting that it can be harder than it's often given credit for. When you're a Mom there's a natural bond that exists between you and your child. The "ish" relationship begins with caution and lots of questions. "Ishes" are navigating the rapids as soon as they're in the water and most of the time with very little training and very few role models. It can be (and was for me) one of the most frightening experiences of someone's life. Of course, it can also be one of the most rewarding relationships in life as mine has.
So within a few minutes of arriving at the restaurant we were laughing and realizing we had birthdays just one day apart. That dinner was a bit of a blur but like most of the time we spend together I remember lots of laughter and not wanting it to end. In fact, we weren't ready to leave so we headed out for ice cream after dinner. What a great night. I still have the pic of he and I that first day. I cherish it in the way new Mom's cherish those first pictures from the hospital. After all, it was the day I became a Momish.
No comments:
Post a Comment