The truth about being a momish

In a recent discussion with a Momish friend, I realized the unique set of circumstances that come with being a Momish. First of all, I hate the term Stepmother. It's way too close to Stepmonster and reminds me of Cinderella. Without having prior experience raising children (the closest I came was helping raise my 7 younger siblings many of whom are substantially younger than me), this is all new to me. Little kids aren't my cup of tea so I don't feel like I missed out on much when it comes to potty training and teething but it does mean my point of reference is different and often misunderstood by other parents, especially traditional Moms.


Turns out we're not all evil and we have substantial things to offer the children in our lives. We love them as if they're our own and we cheer for them and get frustrated with them and question our decisions for them and even question our own abilities. We act as the support system, sounding board, semi-friend balanced by semi-parent, and more. We are a go-between when it comes to parents/child arguments and we are often in the way. We get a ton of the work load and little of the glory.


Yes, I'll go out on the limb and say we get even less of the glory than traditional Moms yet we wouldn't trade a minute of it. See, the "ish" relationship is a choice. My Sonish can choose to love me just as much as I can choose to love him. The mother child relationship comes with an attachment that we don't have. This means we work at our relationship. We build every day a relationship of trust and support and understanding.


Trust doesn't come automatically for a Momish. We have to earn it. There isn't a guaranteed feeling of safety or security between a Sonish and his Momish like there is with Mom. It takes effort and patience for both of us. Truthfully it takes effort and patience for all three of us.



Being Momish is sincerely one of the greatest parts of my life. I'm really in love with that kid.