Girls...Girls...Girls...

On the Sonish's recent trip to Indiana we noticed something different.  Yes, he was taller.  Yes, his skin was better.  Yes, his voice is getting deeper.  But it was more than that.  This time there were GIRLS.  Yes, girls were a hot topic on this visit.  There were regular text messages from girls, regular discussions about girls, regular turns of the head when pretty girls walked by, etc.  Heaven help us!  I don't know that we're ready for this.

There's been talk of girls for a couple of years now.  Since entering high school the number of girls to pop up in a conversation has been on the rise.  One of the things I value about our relationship with the Sonish is that he's very open (or as open as a 15 year old ever is) with us.  We pride ourselves on keeping the judgement to a minimum and building a relationship where nothing is off limits.  For me that means being the one he talks to about dating, girls, etc.  

It's an honor to have his trust like this but its also a little scary.  Of course, I tease that he's not allowed to have children until he's 35.  This has more to do with my unwillingness to become a grandmother before my mid 50's than it does anything else (I'm kidding of course)  I really do want what's best for him and that typically means putting aside my own fears about saying the wrong thing.   Ironically when I find myself feeling like I've done my best in this role it's because I've done more listening than talking.  Isn't that what we all want?  Someone who will listen without judging?  Someone who will give thoughtful responses without flying off the handle?  

I leave the joking and the ribbing about girls to the Hubs and to his Uncle Steve.  They do a much better job of it and can often get to the heart of an issue in a much lighter fashion than I can.  When it comes to the serious stuff I've promised myself that I will be there to handle it, discuss it, juggle it, and do whatever it takes to be there for him.  This is where being an "ish" comes in handy.  When you're not a parent and you're not a friend somewhere in the middle you can create an open environment of trust, honesty, and respect.  Building on this foundation takes real effort but its work and I'm willing to put own fears aside in hopes of giving him a place of security and safety.