Conditioning

My hamstrings are pretty much back to normal, but my glutes are still sore as hell. I didn't want to resort to just an upper body workout again, so I decided to do some conditioning that would work my whole body. I started by doing about 10-15 minutes of warming up - especially my legs, obviously - and then did a version of The 540, which is named after the CrossFit box that devised it. The reps are as RXed, but I couldn't find a reference to what weight I should be using. I think it's up to the individual how much to put on the bar, so I guess-timated how much would be a challenge for me. I think I got it about right.

The 540
50 overhead lunges (total reps; 25lb bumper plate)
40 pull-ups
30 thrusters @ 85lb
20 burpees
10 cleans @ 115lb
Time = 18:06

I narrowly missed Rich Froning's world record time. By about 12 and a half minutes. Frig, this took my breath away, especially the thrusters. I think they took the longest time out of everything, just because of the time I spent resting. The burpees were in slow motion, but I only needed one break right in the middle.

For time:
50 sit-ups (strict)
50 push-ups
Time = 4:35

Short workout today, but still felt challenging.

Finding your place as a Stepmom

Damn that Norman Rockwell!!  My grandparents still have that Norman Rockwell calendar on their kitchen wall.  Each year there are updated photos of Rockwell's work on the calendar that is given to them by their local credit union.  After all, Norman Rockwell is the image that sets the tone for "traditional American values."  If you live in the conservative Midwest like I do (aka anywhere outside of Chicago but still in the middle of the country) this is the image of family you grew up with.

Each time I'm home, I find myself looking at the calendar and realizing that I'm not in it.  No where in those paintings is there a Momish.  No where is there a stepmom looking on over dad's shoulder or chatting with the biomom.  No where is there a painting that shows the struggle of Momishes everywhere to fit in.  In Rockwell's America, I don't fit in.

Welcome to the post Rockwell America.  The America where stepmoms and stepdads are the norm and families look nothing like the iconic image around the Sunday dinner table (aka Freedom from Want)  So if today's world doesn't look like that, why are so many stepparents struggling to find their place in the family?  Could it be that our society hasn't really embraced the new reality that is the new American family?  What do we do to find our place in the home?  Here are a few of the things I've done that work for me.

1. Be your best self.  Becoming a stepparent can bring out a side of yourself you didn't know existed.  I found myself becoming my mother & saying and doing things that I never thought I would say or do.  Most were little things but they were still out of character for me.  I had to remind myself that The Hubs chose me to be his partner for a reason and that person would always be enough.  Yes, I'll change and evolve over time but the person I am at the core shouldn't change just because of my new role as Momish.  When I'm true to myself I'm much more secure in my new role. 
2. Lower your expectations.  I say this a lot, but I know from experience that we generate these crazy expecations of families (thanks again Norman!) and what we believe they should look like, sound like, and be like.  Give yourself and everyone else in your family a break.  This is not the same world it used to be.  Things have changed.  Don't forget to change your expectations too. 
3. You're not Mom.  Yep, I said it.  You're not mom.  You're the stepmom, or Momish in my case.  Do you know that we use Momish because things that are but aren't quite are "ish" so that makes me Momish?  Momish means that I'm like a mom but not quite.  That's perfectly ok.  I'm a great Momish (or at least I try to be) but I'm not his mother.  That takes the pressure off.  I don't have to be Mom.  I just have to be something less than a parent and more than a friend.  It's a balancing act every minute of every day but there's less pressure when I remind myself that my job isn't to be Mom.  
4. Communicate with one another.  Talk to one another.  Listen more than you talk.  Build trust.  Keep commitments to one another.  Be faithful.  Creating an environment of positive communication will make it easier to find your place. Have a teenager who doesn't communicate the same what you do?  Set the example for communication between you and your partner and listen more than you talk at your teen.  Consider communicating the way they do instead of expecting them to do it your way.  Maybe now is the time to learn to text your teen and not be offended when a birthday or christmas wish comes by text or facebook post instead of by phone.  It's the new way and while it may not be the "right way" you'll feel better when you relax and go with the flow.  
5. Be prepared for change.  Change is one of the few guarentees in life.  Life in a combined family will always change.  Truth is, life in traditonal families is always changing too.  Learn to go with it.  Embrace change and new adventure and new opportunity.  You've already asked the kids in your family to embrace their new family (aka embrace change) so be willing to the same.  Live by example.  

This should be enough for Rivera to keep job

(MONDAY UPDATE: Rivera had an 11 a.m. news conference with the media but did not know what his future held. He said he hoped to keep his job and that he would be meeting with owner Jerry Richardson soon to determine what his and the team's future will be. He did not sound particularly confident. Players leaving the stadium who were interviewed expressed pretty much unanimous support for the current coaching staff).

That should be enough.

Ron Rivera's Panthers won the final four games of their season, finishing a respectable 7-9 and winning a tiebreaker to end up second in the NFC South after edging New Orleans 44-38 Sunday. They lost way too much too early, which meant they missed the playoffs for the fourth year in a row. But ultimately they did play a little better overall in the second year of Rivera's reign (in 2011, they were 6-10).

I also believe Rivera has improved as a coach and is starting to curb his conservative tendencies. Witness him reconsidering an early punt against the Saints on fourth-and-8 from the New Orleans 37 and instead going for a 54-yard field goal.

The field goal missed, but nevertheless it was the right call. When you play the Saints, you must pile up the points, and the Panthers did so. I also liked the fact that the Panthers knelt down inside the New Orleans 10 to end the game rather than try to score again. That was classy, especially given the fact the Saints had tried to grab every NFL record they could a year ago, keeping in their starters with the game well out of hand.

-- It was impossible not to be impressed by Cam Newton's toughness Sunday. I thought the second time his left leg got bent back almost underneath him that he was done for the afternoon, and yet there he came again, getting retaped and finishing the game after Derek Anderson subbed in briefly (and effectively).

-- I still believe that Carolina has too much money invested in the running back position and I won't be surprised (or displeased) at all if they part with DeAngelo Williams in the offseason. But with Jonathan Stewart so limited due to injury in 2012, having Williams was far more than a luxury Sunday -- it was a necessity. He had one of the best games any Panther running back has ever had (albeit against the defense that has given up more yards than any NFL defense ever in a single season). Williams rushed for 210 yards and two TDs, the most rushing yards in a game any Panther back has ever had.

-- One way to prolong Newton's durability: forget about giving him the ball on third-and-short and goal-line situations. Mike Tolbert has the body for that, as he proved Sunday with three short TDs in which he simply bowled his way through the line.

-- If only Charles Godfrey could play against Drew Brees every week. Godfrey's only two interceptions all season came against Brees -- one he returned for a TD in Week Two and the second set up a crucial Carolina TD in this game. -- By winning this one only six points, Rivera finally got another "close" win. The Panthers are now 2-12 in his tenure in games decided by a touchdown or less.

Upper body, because my lower body is so fubar it isn't funny.

My ass hurts. Nuff said.

All relative max alternating sets today.

Hang power snatches @ 65lb - 8, 7, 7, 8

Dumbbell military presses @ 30s - 8, 7, 7, 6

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Underhand pull-downs - 90 x 10, 100 x 10, 9, 8

Dips - 9, 8, 7, 7

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Barbell curls @ 65lb - 8, 7, 7, 6

Push-downs @ 45lb - 8, 7, 8, 6

Panthers-Saints pregame notes and Sunday prediction

On Sept.16, Carolina whipped New Orleans, 35-27, in its 2012 season home opener.

That led to some premature confidence, as best expressed in this quote from Cam Newton after the game. "The vibe is changing," Newton said. "Not only for this team, but for this whole organization."

Well, no. It didn't. The Panthers didn't win again until November, and by then the season was in shambles and general manager Marty Hurney had lost his job. The team has since played well for the most part, going 4-1 over their last five games, but the terrible start means that the Panthers (6-9) will miss the playoffs for the fourth straight season.

New Orleans is also playing well now, but was likewise doomed by a poor start. The Saints have gone 7-4 since starting 0-4. Sunday's game probably won't look like a contest between two losing teams, but that's what it ultimately is.

-- In case you missed my earlier column, I am advocating that team owner Jerry Richardson give coach Ron Rivera a third year to try and get the team turned around. I believe Rivera has gotten better as a coach and that to change out the entire coaching staff again would be a "one step forward, two steps back" approach.

-- The Saints and Panthers have had very similar seasons in several respects besides the slow starts. They can play beautifully. They are responsible for both of 13-2 Atlanta's losses this season. And they can play horribly. They are also responsible for 2-13 Kansas City's two wins.

-- One thing about the Saints: they play entertaining football. Their average score this season is 28-27. The Panthers both score and allow about a touchdown less than that. I think this game will be a high-scoring season finale, and that Carolina will play just well enough to win its fourth straight game. My prediction: Carolina 37, New Orleans 33.

Full body

Personal training with Paul

I went to see Skyfall yesterday (Thursday) afternoon, and I made the huge mistake of eating popcorn. From the moment I left the movie theatre until about 10:30am this morning (Friday) I had a heartburn sensation, like a huge burp was fighting to escape! Not a good feeling, to say the least, and I had it throughout today's personal training session. If you heard thunder at about 10:00am today, that was me burping as I walked up Hincks Street after leaving the gym. Yeah, I know that's disgusting, but I feel a lot better!

5 rft:
5 Bulgarian split squats @ 115lb
10 dumbbell bench presses @ 45s
Time = 15:12

Well, that felt a damn sight harder than it should have. I don't do split squats often enough, and I think my time reflects that. My balance was all over the place, and I don't think my front foot position was consistent enough. This will need some work.

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Complex: 3 deadlifts + 3 power cleans (t&g)
95, 115, 125, 125, 130

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50 wide-grip pull-ups
Time = 8:59

Forgiveness: A stepmom's best tool

What's the first image that pops to mind when you think about stepfamilies?  Drama? Fighting? Hurt feelings?  Children feeling torn between both parents?  Crying and gnashing of teeth? Maybe all of the above?

Now imagine stepfamilies who have forgiven.  What do you see?  It's probably much harder to find an image that fits.  Would they be families that said hello and chatted politely during "the exchange"?  Would they be families that shared constructive information about their children? Maybe they'd even hug?

Finally, imagine parents and stepparents who forgiven themselves.  What do you see?  People who are accepting?  People who are loving?  People who work to build relationships with not only their spouses and their stepchildren but also with the exfamily members.  It's not something you see every day, is it?

Real forgiveness comes with clear heart and mind.  It takes patience, understanding, and a willingness to be honest with one's self.  Forgivness is a tricky thing.  It doesn't mean turning a blind eye just because you turn the other cheek.  It does mean letting go.  It means accepting people for who they are, flaws and all.  It means saying I'm sorry and accepting the same.  It means accepting an apology even when the other person hasn't apologized.

My father taught me during my teen drama of dealing with our divorced family that forgiveness benefits me more than it does the person I'm forgiving.  He taught me that turning the proverbial cheek would benefit my life more than I knew.  He was right.  So right in fact that the ripple effect through the rest of the family still impacts us today.

As you plan for the year ahead, ask yourself what life would be like if forgiveness was one of your goals.  Would it help you build better relationships with your partner, (s)kids, exfamilies, and with yourself?  If the answer is even "maybe", I encourage you to give it a try.  You wont be sorry.

VIDEO -Girl squats 204lbs @ 125bw

VIDEO -CrossFit- 125lb Girl deadlifts 308lbs!

The Art of Goal Setting

So my thoughts have left the Christmas craziness and turned to planning for 2013.  I'm one of those rare people who actually like to work between Christmas and New Year's Day because I can get so much planning and organizing done.  I'm a strategizer at heart and love to create plans, organize, and set goals.  My Barbie dream house would be covered in Post It flip charts, white boards, and calendars.  There's just nothing like a paper calendar on the wall.  Now that I think about it, I really miss shopping for the paper calendar this time of year.

The key has been to learn not to overdue or set goals that aren't really attainable.  Goals should make you stretch yourself personally, professionally, and spiritually but not be so pie-in-the-sky high that you can't attain them.  One of my former bosses, Kent Burns taught me the art of goal setting and the joyous feeling that comes with crossing off the goals when they are complete.  There's nothing like a red sharpie when it comes to checking off the list!  Suddenly I have images of my Barbie dream house covered in flip charts, white boards, and calendars and beautiful bouquets of Sharpies everywhere.  Yes, it's a sick obsession but one I love.  There's just nothing like a post it and a sharpie.

Enough about my Barbie Dream House.  What I really want to share with you is how I go about goal setting and how I've applied it to my life as a Momish.  Here are the basic steps I've gone through for almost a decade now to set my goals and attain them.  I used to do this on a pink legal pad but these days, I do it online.  Sometimes going back to the legal pad just feels good and provides inspiration of it's own so don't be afraid to go offline for this project.

1. Be quiet.  Find some quiet and uninterrupted time to think, pray, meditate, or simply breathe as you begin this project.  You may never have an hour or two by yourself so start with 5 minutes (or even just 2 minutes) to meditate on what your intentions should be for the upcoming year.  Ask your higher power to direct you in the way that you should go in your planning.  Note:  DO NOT OVER THINK THIS JUST BECAUSE I SAID MEDITATION!!! Relax and just let yourself be still.  The rest will come.  
2. Segment. Determine the most important areas of your life.  On my pink legal pad I would write down the various areas of focus in my life.  They might include personal goals, spiritual goals, professional goals, parenting goals, intimate goals with your partner (important note: I did not share those with my old boss-keep those between you and your partner), health and fitness goals, friendship goals, etc.  
3. Write your goals.  In each section begin to write down everything that comes to mind.  I always ask myself what my goals would be if money, time, and circumstances were perfectly aligned.  Write it all down. At this point nothing is off limits. 
4. Visualize.  After you've done this for each section you've created, stop and reread what you've written.  Take it all in and begin to visualize yourself reaching all of these goals.  It's important not to let yourself get overwhelmed by them.  Go to your happy place and imagine life a year from now with these goals complete.  
5. Create a plan. One of the great practices Kent taught me was to begin with the end in mind.  Start from the vision you have of your goal completed and ask yourself what you did to reach that goal.  Work backward from the point in your mind where the goal is complete.  Here's an example.  One year I wanted to improve my reading skills so I was determined to read a minimum of 12 books that year.  I visualized myself sitting next to a stack of 12 books that had been read with the satisfaction and knowledge that came with this completed project.  I then ask myself, what kind of books had I been reading?  how did I go about choosing the books?  how often did I read them?  As I walked "backwards" through the history of attaining my goal I realized that I wouldn't obtain the goal simply by reading business books so I selected a list of books that would bring me pleasure.  I choose to read 12 biographies of women who influenced history.  I researched a list of influential women and found their biographies at the library (this was pre-iBooks).  I also decided I would read one book a month and would read 25% of each book each week.  I know it seems really simple, but this made the goal of reading 12 books (a Herculean task at the time for me) easier to attain.  I was eating the preverbal elephant one bite at a time.  
6. Evaluate the plan. Now that you've created a plan, evaluate it and ask yourself if it can realistically be done.  If the plan requires hard work and effort on your part, GREAT!  If it requires others to move mountains and you don't think they're on your same page, reconsider that goal.  Here's an example.  My goal as a Momish is to have the perfect Summer vacation with the Sonish.  My goal would be to have him for the entire summer, schedule lots of time off to be with him, travel, and create an album full of picture perfect memories.  Ok, reality check time.  The Sonish has Scout camp, vacation with Mom's family, and maybe even a summer job or internship.  Did I mention we both have full time jobs and budgets to concern ourselves with?  So the goal becomes something more like, "Plan time to spend with the Sonish that fits everyone's schedule and provides a stress free (or close to) experience no matter where we are".  
7. Push yourself.  There's a big difference between being realistic with your goals and letting yourself off easy. If I set a goal to read 12 books in 2013, I'm letting myself off easy as I probably read 2-3 books each month today.  Instead, my 2012 goal was to read the complete works of Maya Angelou.  It pushed me and kept me focussed.  The same may be true for your family goals.  Having dinner together as a family every night at the table might not be realistic if everyone has after hours commitments.  However, having family night on Friday nights or dinner together on Wednesday nights might be more realistic.  
8. Share your goals.  Share your goals with a friend, colleague, partner, etc who will gently hold you accountable.  Kent would ask me about my goals and encourage me throughout the year.  This made it so I didn't forget the commitment I'd made to myself.  
9. Keep your goals where you can see them.  I'm all for streamlining and using less paper, but I don't see my goals daily if they're saved in Dropbox.  Print them out and keep them near by.  Some people place them on their bedroom or bathroom mirrors.  I've put them in a clear acrylic frame and put them on my desk before too. Seeing them every day is another way to stay on task.  
10. Revisit your goals.  As you've created a plan for attaining your goals, revisit your goals to make sure your staying on track.  Essentially, your plan becomes a set of mini goals that get you to your larger goals.   The more you revisit your goals the more likely you'll be to achieve them.
11. Get out the red sharpie.  Check off the list as you're completing it.  There's something so satisfying in drawing that red line through a completed task.  I'm sure there's some physiological reason for it, but bottom line is that I LOVE it.  So the more tasks you complete the better you'll feel.  This is a great way to share your success with those holding you accountable too.  
12. Reward yourself.  Rewards don't have to be anything extravagant but take the time to treat yourself nicely for a job well done.  All too often, especially as parents(ish), we don't reward ourselves.  If a hot bath is a reward for you, take one.  If it's an afternoon to go fishing, go.  Maybe it's something as simple as a downloading someone's newest album.  Whatever it is, reward yourself when you've earned it.  

Wishing you the best and brightest 2013 you can dream up!

Michelle

5 thoughts on Heat vs Bobcats (including Wade's cheap shot)

1. Dwyane Wade really took a cheap shot at Ramon Sessions (see the video here) during the game, lashing out with his left leg after Sessions fouled him and catching Sessions right in the groin. Sessions said after the game (a 105-92 Miami win) that he thought Wade did it on purpose, and I can't imagine that some sort of NBA punishment won't be forthcoming for Wade for that one. It was just too obvious. (UPDATE: On Thursday night, the NBA announced Wade would be suspended for one game without pay because of the incident -- that doesn't really help the Bobcats, though).

2. LeBron James (the subject of my Thursday column) was just so darn good one day after basically beating Oklahoma City by himself on Christmas Day. James had four dunks and four steals in the first quarter alone and ended up with 27 points, 12 rebounds and eight assists. But he was still mad about a late three he took in the game that dropped his shooting percentage below 50 percent. He declined comment on whether he thought Gerald Henderson's hard foul on an attempted dunk was a cheap shot, but some of his teammates sure thought so.

3. Buried on the bench for weeks, Hakim Warrick (18 points, nine rebounds) absolutely has to play more for Charlotte.

4. Miami Heat coach Erik Spoelstra really likes Kemba Walker (who had 27 points, six rebounds and six assists). "When Walker is hitting threes like that, he's a tough cover," Spoelstra said (Walker was 4-for-8 on three-pointers). "He's an interesting player. He's built with such a low center of gravity. Great handle. Great change of direction. Deceptiveness. He's a tough guy to corral. He's got a very bright future ahead of him. He's quick, can play 40-plus minutes and it never looks like he's tired. So it was a challenge to keep him out of the paint and when he starts knocking down threes, that makes him equally as tough."

5. The learning process continues for rookie Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, who had four fouls and only two field goals in 22 minutes.

Upper body

I ate a hell of a lot of food yesterday, but it was all "clean". I would have treated myself and eaten some apple pie IF SOMEONE HAD BOTHERED TO BRING SOME!

Push press - 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3
85, 95, 105, 110, 115, 120, 125 (2)

I've put that I managed two reps at 125lb, but - to be honest - they weren't great. I got the bar overhead, but it came down pretty quickly both times. I was doing pretty well up to that point, too, and I felt like I got plenty of power from my hips and shoulders up to 120lb.

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5 rft:
5 power cleans @ 115lb
10 dips
Time = 8:59

All of the cleans were unbroken, although they weren't all t&g. About halfway through this routine I found that my form improved significantly by keeping the bar close to my body during the cleans. However, this new-found knowledge came at a price; when I brought the bar up my shins, I ripped off the deadlift scab on my right leg from a couple of weeks ago. I could feel the blood dripping down and pooling on my top of my sock! Also, I noticed that there were spots of blood on the carpet by the dips station. Ew!

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Chin-ups (strict), max reps
10, 7, 5, 5

Last flex of 2012!

Conditioning

Happy Christmas (wah, wah, waaah!)

Yeah, I know it's Christmas Day, but I was bored! Perhaps I'm suffering from OCD (Obsessive CrossFit Disorder). After we'd had our family brunch at home and unwrapped our gifts, I had some fun in the Stonecroft gym.

For time:
1 dumbbell hang squat clean into thruster @ 35s
1 push-up; 2/2; 3/3, etc up to 10 reps of each
Time = 15:40

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Row 1,000m
Time = 6:01

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15 minutes swimming

VIDEO Girl squats 198lbs..-CrossFit

VIDEO CrossFit Girl Cleans 136lbs---Fails Jerk!

Full body

After Saturday's lung-burner, I wanted to start this week with some heavy squats.

Back squats, 1rm
5 x 30% = 65lb
5 x 40% = 90lb
3 x 50% = 110lb
3 x 60% = 135lb
2 x 70% = 155lb
2 x 80% = 175lb
1 x 90% = 200lb
1 x 95% = 210lb
1 x 100% = 220lb (new PR)
1 x 102% = 225lb (to parallel)

I videoed the 210lb squat and had my camera ready for the 100% 220lb squat. I addressed the bar and was getting ready to start the rep, when I realised I hadn't started my friggin' camera to begin recording! I think I completed the squat with good form, so that's a new PR. However, no video proof! Bollocks. Anyway, 220lb felt like I could do even more weight, so I rested 3 minutes then added just 5lb more. I was doing okay until I got down to about parallel, when I felt like I was starting to tip towards my right. I panicked a bit because I thought I was going to topple over, so I stood up. A 225lb back squat is still a decent weight, but it wasn't as low as I was aiming for. Oh, well.

By the way, in the video of my 210lb lift, a bit of black tape that was stuck to my butt fell off. It looks like I shat myself!

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Bench press (small bench, 6 holes)
115 x 5
125 x 5
130 x 3
135 x 3
140 x 1, 2
145 x 0

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Military press, rel max
65lb x 10, 8, 6, 6

That's a drop of one rep in the last set.

Getting through Christmas without your (s)kids

I remember the first time I participated in the "exchange".  It was torture.  Pure and simple torture.  The mood in the car shifted as we drove the hours to the half way point that summer.  We tried to stay positive and upbeat but we all knew what was coming.  Saying "goodbye for now"is one of the hardest things you do as part of a cross country parenting situation.  It brings tears to my eyes even as I type.

Now the Sonish is old enough to fly back and forth to the east coast which means our "goodbyes for now" are in public but are without the pressure of the other family watching.  Every time, whether it's in an airport or an Ikea parking lot, I tell the Hubs that I don't know how he's done it.  How has he lived with theses "goodbyes for now" all of these years?  He calmly puts his arm around me and tells me that it wont get easier, I'll just get used to it.  When I ask about Christmas, he tells me the same thing.  I tell myself he's right, but I don't know that I'll ever get used to it.  So I've developed some of my own tips on getting through the holidays without having him at home.  If you're without your favorite young people this holiday, I hope they help you as well.

1.  It's ok to miss him.   I told someone today that the best part of loving someone so much is that when they're not with you, you get to miss them.  That probably sounds odd but not when you look at it the way I do.  Loving someone as much as we love the Sonish, means that we miss him when he's not here.  You can feel it in our home and throughout the rest of our lives when he's not here.  Something's missing when he's not here.  So I've learned to be ok with missing him.  It's a reminder that I'm blessed to love him enough to actually miss him when he's gone.

2.  Surround yourself with joyful people.   Often the key to being joyful is being around joyful people.  Spend time with family and friends who you enjoy.   Christmas is a day to be happy, not miserable.  Limit the time you spend with negative people and focus on time with people that lift your spirits.

Don't have anyone to spend the holiday with?  Tell someone that.  Your co-workers, friends, fellow parishioners, and neighbors likely assume you have plans for the holiday.  They can't invite you to join them if they don't know you're alone.  You're not asking for pity.  You're simply seeking out the best alternative for your holiday plans.

3.  Be thankful.  Christmas is a wonderful time to reflect and seek out the every day miracles that happened in the past year.  Why not write them down?  Light the fireplace, pour a cup of eggnog, put on some Christmas music and give thanks.

4.  Give back.  If you can't be with those you love on the holiday seek out a shelter, church, or charitable organization that is serving people on Christmas Day.  The best thing about giving to others is that I always seem to get more satisfaction from it then I give.  Giving back feels great and is a wonderful way to spend your time.  It occupies your mind, helps you meet new people, and fills your heart.

5.  Keep your expectations low.  I'll never forget the first Christmas we were a family.  The Sonish was with his Mom for the holiday and we called to wish him a Merry Christmas.  Hearing his voice was the highlight of my day (my apologies to my other family members who were with me that day) and as I said goodbye and I love you, he got real quiet.  We'd said I love you multiple times so this wasn't new but there was something holding him back.  The next time we talked he apologized saying that Mom's family members were in the room and he didn't want to upset any of them.  I couldn't dream of being upset with him but I'll admit that Christmas morning I was disappointed.  Try to remember that your (s)kids are in the middle even on Christmas day and they're always trying to juggle the wishes and desires of two families.  They may not always say exactly what you want them to or they may pay more attention to their new gifts then you on the phone but it's not directed at you.  Be patient and remember that our expectations of this day are exaggerated by all of the hype that is Christmas.  Keep your expectations in check and you'll be just fine.

6.  Start your own traditions.  How many times have you thought about how nice it would be to have a day off to yourself or just with you and your significant other?  Not that you don't love your (s)kids but we all crave time alone.  So make it a day that you do something for yourself.  Put in your favorite movie and lounge in your pj's all day if you're not going to be with family.  Give yourself a pedicure or try new recipes and cook a romantic holiday meal for two.  Read a book.  Play in the snow.  Go surfing.  Go for a drive and look at the lights.  Call up a friend who isn't expecting to hear from you and wish them a Merry Christmas.

7.  Give yourself a break.  So much of why we're upset without our kids on Christmas day is because we make way too much out of one day.  Enjoy the time you do have, whether that's Christmas Eve, the weekend before/after, or Thanksgiving (like us).  We put way too much pressure on ourselves to have some Norman Rockwell experience for the holiday when each of our families is unique and should be celebrated as such.

Wishing you the happiest of holidays!
Michelle

Full body conditioning

Personal training with Paul

Amrap 10
1 deadlift @ 225lb, 1 burpee, 2/2, 3/3 etc.
Score = 9 rounds exactly

Edit: I only just checked back to see my score when I did something similar but easier a few weeks ago. Back then I did jump squats instead of the RXed burpees, which I did today. Even though my lungs burned like hell this morning, I did much better.

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"Ensign"
3 x 3 minute rounds of:
3 power cleans @ 115lb
6 push-ups
9 air squats

Scores:
3 rounds + 3 power cleans
3 rounds + 6 squats
3 rounds + 6 push-ups

I'm not surprised that the second round was better than the first. I deliberately moved slower, which allowed me to breathe slower. I slowed down in the third round just because I was fatigued.

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3 rounds:
10 ab rollouts
20 sit-ups (strict)

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It's two hours later, and my lower back is already seizing up from the deadlifts! Great workout, though. I'm used to one of the routines in my PT session knocking me on my ass, but not two at the beginning!

Leadership Skills=Great Parentish Tips

This post is inspired by a post on Playground Dad that gave 5 parenting tips for becoming a better leader.  As a Momish, wife, and a professional, I'm always attracted to tips on how to build better leadership skills and this post had some great ones.  In fact, some of them were just brilliant!

Here's my take on these tips as a Momish.

1.  Have one on ones with your family.  Playground Dad refers to this as family time around the dinner table.  He's exactly right.  You have one on one meetings with your team members at the office so why wouldn't you have it with your child?  I think our kids are often looking for our time and attention more than anything else.  If you set an hour a week or every other week out for your colleagues, try doing it for your child.

As Ishes, this can be really tough.  The stepparent relationship can be tough and when the kids are with you, you're not the main attraction.  However, the one on one relationship is still important.  Most stepparents find that kids are more willing to open up to them when the biological parents aren't around.   If you can plan a little of that time together it will help build your relationship.  A word of caution:  don't try to hard or over plan the time.  You don't want the one on one time to feel forced.

2.  Parent each child differently.  Playground Dad points out that you don't treat your employees all the same so you shouldn't treat your children the same either.  Again, he's exactly right.  While we only have one child, I've learned that even this relationship requires different approaches depending on the topic, the mood, or his age.

As Ishes juggling how you treat your stepchildren can be tough.  You want everyone to feel welcomed and cared for.  Personally I find it's the little things that count.  Having the sonish's favorite coffee or bath products when he visits makes him feel included.  We also make a point to discuss the big stuff that's going on when we talk by phone and share news from friends and family that he may not see very often.  By keeping him in the loop we keep him informed and hope to prevent that horrible "you never told me that" conversation.

3.  Plan time for Mom and Dad.  Playground Dad points out that leaders take breaks at retreats or on vacations to recharge and be inspired.  The same is true for parents.  You need a break from the chaos that family can be to recharge and be your best self.

For divorced parents, this can feel very selfish.  Often we try to make up for not being a traditional family by giving all of our attention to our children.  We become over bearing parents who give and give to the point of creating unhealthy relationships and expectations.  By making one another priority, you set the example for healthy relationships.  You show that your partner is priority and deserves respect.  When the parent shows respect to the step parent, the children are more likely to follow.

4.  Don't bother with the "Do as I say, not as I do" attitude.  Your kids are watching often more than they're listening.  Be an example.  You would do the same thing at the office.  If you're a total slacker at work, your team doesn't respect you.  The same is true as a parent.

Ishes are under a different kind of microscope.  Unfortunately the ex husband or wife is often saying negative things to the child on top of any misgivings he/she may have on their own.  This makes your actions as a Momish even more important.  Throwing temper tantrums and being selfish will show your stepchild how to behave.  Same is true if you speak or act disrespectfully or negatively to your partner.  Even when you think your stepchild isn't giving you the time of day they're watching.

5.  Have fun!  Playground Dad has dance parties at his house (or so I read, we haven't been invited over yet) which sound uber fun! Some of the best team building activities I do at the office are ones that cause us to laugh at ourselves and sometimes each other.  The same is true at home.  Laugh!  Have fun! Relax!  It doesn't all have to be so serious, even if what's going on in your life at the time is super serious.

This is where ishes can really have fun.  Your stepchild is dealing with two parents who likely don't like one another and are sometimes consumed with the negativity that came from the breakup, no matter how long its been.  So be the safe harbor for your stepchildren.  Be the person who brings a little fun in their day.  Through a dance party, sing in the car with them, joke around a little.  This will lighten the mood for your entire family.

#6 is one I've personally added to the list.

6.  Be authentic.  We all know leaders who lack authenticity.  They are so busy climbing the corporate ladder and kissing the butts necessary to get there that they're jerks the rest of the time.  They take credit for your work and they just seem slimy.  Kids can sense that even faster than adults so be true to yourself and them.  If you're setting the example (see #4) for your family, you want it to be an authentic one.  And don't let the fear of your family not liking you get in the way.  They love you and will appreciate the real you.

It's so easy for an ish to feel like he/she has to put on an act, or be someone they're not in order to please everyone.  Step kids are extra sensitive to anyone who tries to hard.  They're not stupid and they know that you want them to like you so they're watching for you to be fake.  Just relax and be yourself.  That's who your partner fell in love with.  The kids will too.

Panthers-Raiders -- some pregame notes and a prediction

Ron Rivera has a lot to lose Sunday.

Think about it. The Panthers (5-9) close the season at New Orleans, a team that is suddenly hot again and particularly good at home. If the Panthers win that one, it's a bonus. They won't be expected to, even though they beat the Saints at home earlier this year.

But this one? This one against Oakland (4-10) they should win, and that's what makes it dangerous. Throw in a clunker against the Raiders, and the "Give Rivera One More Season" bandwagon (of which I'm a charter member, as I wrote this week) throws a rod. A loss to Oakland makes it look like the Panthers just aren't consistent enough to deserve much continuity.

What Oakland did to Kansas City -- a 15-0 win last week -- was what the Panthers should also have done to the Chiefs. I know the Chiefs were in an emotional state, but there's still no excuse to make Brady Quinn look like Tom Brady. That's the one jarring note in this "3-wins-in-4-games" thing for the Panthers.

Losing to Oakland at home would be very similar to losing to the Chiefs on the road. You would send fans out grumbling in the pre-Christmas chill, angry about all the money they spent on an inferior product.

So win a third straight game and Rivera can cite all sorts of reasons why he should be kept on if he has to justify himself to owner Jerry Richardson and/or the new general manager before the final decision is made. Lose, though, and that list shrinks considerably.

-- One nice part about Sunday's game if you're watching on TV: It's a rare chance to hear Steve Beuerlein on TV. Beuerlein, the former Panther quarterback, is smooth on the air but works for CBS, and I'm usually watching or listening to Fox announcers since the Panthers play in the NFC. In a three-hour telecast, do you think they will work in at least one reference to the famous Beuerlein draw play at Green Bay?

-- The last time Oakland and Carolina played was four years ago in California, and Jake Delhomme had perhaps the worst game a Panther quarterback has ever had in a victory. He was 7-for-27 for 72 yards, one TD, four interceptions and a pass rating of 12.3. The Panthers still won 17-6 behind a defense keyed by Julius Peppers.

-- I think the Panthers will win their third straight game Sunday. I missed their upset against San Diego last week, falling to a horrid 6-8 on gameday predictions for Carolina. My pick Sunday: Carolina 32, Oakland 19.

Full body

Clever advertising campaign by Nike

Supersets:
Bench presses, max reps @ 125lb - 5, 4, 4, 4, 4
Cable rows, max reps @ 125lb - 8, 7, 7, 7, 7

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For time:
30 x hang clean and presses @ 95lb
10 x burpees whenever I drop the bar (not at the end)
Time = 10:57 (5 breaks/sets of burpees)

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50 strict sit-ups
30 leg raises/hip raises
40 straight leg raises
20 decline sit-ups

A couple of things: I did the leg raises/hip raises before the straight leg raises because the dip station where I do the former was being used. Also, I didn't do any toes-to-bar because all the benches were occupied, so I couldn't get up there! Stoopid short legs...

Making Your Stepkids Part of Your Home

In a world that is so noisy and so full of commotion all we really want to do is be heard.  Yet all the people we come in contact with want simply to be heard and/or seen too.  Often this leads to us talking louder to overcome the noise around us without doing much listening or seeing of the others in our lives.

The same is true in our homes and our families.  Our sonishes and daughterishes are wanting to be heard and seen as people who matter.  They want to know that we value them and love them as part of our families and homes even when they don't live in them full time.

Living half way across the country from the Sonish makes it even harder sometimes to have that feeling of home and belonging for him.  We live in a one bedroom apartment so unfortunately, he doesn't have his own bedroom.  We convert the den area (we live in a rather open space) to a bedroom for him while he's here but I'll admit, I worry that he wont feel at home here because he doesn't have his own space.  He never complains and says he enjoys it but I worry none the less.

We try to think of the little things that make someone feel at home when he's here.  Things like keeping his bath products on hand and making sure there's 3 towels hanging in the bathroom instead of just 2.  We go so far as to make sure all of the towels match so that he never feels like an after thought (or at least I hope he doesn't).

It probably seems silly to keep little things on hand for him when he's only here a few weeks each year but having gone back and forth between two houses myself, I know how important it is to feel at home.  If we want our families to feel at home we have to make sure they're a part of it.  Our gallery wall (a forever work in progress) is full of pictures of the Sonish along with pictures of us.  This year we decorated for Christmas together as a family to be sure his tastes were included even though he'll be on the East Coast for the holiday instead of the Midwest.  There are always three place settings at the table even though most of the time it's just the two of us.  It all sounds so silly when I write it down here but I'm convinced the little things make a big difference.

We've also decided not to move until he graduates from high school.  We've always said that our house is his house too so we want to keep it consistant.  I don't know that he'll ever choose to live with us full time (he knows the door is always open for him to do so if he chooses) but we want our home to be a stable place that he returns to anytime he wants.  Of course, if he were to move permanently we would have to get a bigger place but we'd select that as a family.  I'm sure some would say we give him too much input or over think things like this but we believe just the opposite.   We've committed to being a team and that means taking each member of the team into account, no matter how often they're home to experience it.

Give a Piece of Your Heart Not Your Mind

I read this quote from www.livelifehappy.com on the Motivation for Moms Facebook Page and immediately thought about how it applies to Momishes.  Sincerely it applies to each of us, biological parents, ishes, and non parents alike.

This is a great reminder to stop and think before we speak.  Are we really giving people just a piece of our mind because we feel they should listen or are we giving a piece of our heart?  The most sincere and fruitful relationships always come when we give of our hearts first.

Parents Are People Too

It turns out parents are people too.  I say this more as a daughter and daughterish then I do as Momish.  Although I hope that one day the Sonish realizes this too.

Just yesterday I was having lunch with a friend who was telling me about growing up in her "modern" family.  As the stories went on we both made comments like, "When I started seeing my parents as people it was a lot easier to understand them."  We both later admitted that we were well into our 30's before we actually began to see them that way.   For her, she was able to pinpoint the day that she began seeing her parents as people.  It was the day her how husband met her father.  Instead of seeing him as a source of pain and drama he saw a flawed human who was simply trying to live his life in the best way he could.  When she began seeing her parents through his eyes she began interacting with her parents differently.  She began to understand them differently.

I can't pinpoint a day that I began to see my parents that way.  Even though my upbringing required me to grow up faster than my peers (that's an entirely different Oprah), I always saw my parents as parents.  To me they were the people who were supposed to always be striving to create a Cleaver like household for me even though it was NEVER going to happen. They were supposed to be the people who treated me less like an adult and more like a child without worries.  They were supposed to give me everything I wanted and cherish every challenge I presented because I was just that cute or so I thought.  As I moved into adulthood I repeatedly became frustrated with the fact that my childhood didn't reflect what I thought it should have.  I was often expected to act like an adult, take on adult responsiblities like making meals and managing household chores.  If I'm being honest, from time to time I was angry about not growing up in the household I longed for.

Then it hit me.  My parents are people.  Hell, they weren't even full grown people when I was born they were both still in their teens when I was born.  They were barely old enough to have recieved a college degree by the time my brother came along.  With the wisdom that only time brings (I like that saying so much better than "with age") I began to see that they did the best with the wisdom and knowledge they had.  Everything they've done over the years was out of love, even if their focus wasn't exactly where I wanted it to be.  Loving us never ceased even when they made mistakes personally or professionally.   That love is what has carried me through every challenge, every hurdle, and every difficulty in my life.

And what were the challenges, really?  Some of them were pretty horrible but each one of them brought me right where I am today.  Would I change who I am today?  Absolutely not.  You see, today I'm a wonderfully flawed Momish with a life that I make mistakes in and some days can't focus enough to get right.  I'm a wife and a writer and a friend and a daughter and a deeply spiritual woman who has yet to dig deep enough to really understand who she is at the core.  Who knows, maybe I'll never completely know but what I can hope for is that one day the Sonish sees me as the beautifully flawed human being that loved him unconditionally for all time just like I see my parents today.

Perturbed Panther fans Part 2

If you didn't see the full-page advertisement in Monday's Charlotte Observer sports section that was very critical of team owner Jerry Richardson and coach Ron Rivera, you can see the original story about that ad right here.

The ad inspired a lot of debate on both sides. Incidentally, I wrote in today's newspaper that I believe Rivera should be given one more year by Richardson, but that he should be fired following the 2013 season if he doesn't make the playoffs.

Some have praised the ad for its bluntness. Some have criticized it for its anonymous nature. Today, I received the following email from the "Perturbed Panther" fans who wrote the original ad (so they say), and I am reprinting their email on this blog in full without additional comments so you can judge it for yourself. Feel free to leave your own comments about their email below.

Scott:

I've been asked to contact the Observer on behalf of a large number of Panther fans (many not PSL owners) regarding the reaction to the open letter to Mr. Richardson that was in yesterday's paper.

It seems some media outlets are more interested in the names of the many dissatisfied and demoralized fans in Panther land, or the cost of the ad itself, rather than in the heart and soul of our message.

First, this is not about whining, money, different classes of fans or anything personal between us and Jerry Richardson or Ron Rivera. Both seem like nice gentlemen, but we don't know them personally and that is not the point.

What this is simply about is unacceptable RESULTS and the extreme frustration felt by so many of us by the failure of Mr. Richardson, or to some respect, many of Charlotte's media outlets, to address this perennial dilema openly, honestly and thoroughly. We fans are happy to pay for entertainment and know there will be up and down years in any professional sports franchises history but the Panthers' results are borderline embarassing and we think we fans and the Carolinas deserve a better effort instead of that old bromide about repeating the same thing year-after-year and expecting better results.

At the end of the day, four winning seasons (and none consecutively) in 18 years is indisputable and kind of says it all. This record, by definition, simply cannot be reflective of effective ownership/management of this or any professional franchise. Then we wonder why a former highly competitive professional athlete and successful businessman would tolerate repeated mediocrity or embarassment. The only answer we can come up with is money. If personal net worth is going up tens of millions of dollars a year, human nature suggests it is awfully difficult to get too upset about the core endeavor that is generating such wealth. Put another way, if the Panthers performance on the field were generating out-of-pocket losses each year, would Mr. Richardson's sense of urgency and efforts to turn things around be as understated?

Scott, the NFL "business trade" is simple: Community gets behind wealthy owner(s) to get franchise established; Once franchise granted,owner virtually guaranteed escalating wealth by the league and parity provisions; Community receives direct and indirect economic stimulation; Fans pay up for right to be entertained and engender pride in franchise and greater community; Team performs at level adequate to sustain the preceeding benefits at highest levels.

The only element of the trade here in Charlotte that has not been delivered is the last one, which happens to be the only "pay back" for us fans. When critics of our letter say we're a bunch of whiners who, if we don't like how things are going, should sell our licenses and/or tickets, our response is: WE DON'T WANT TO QUIT! WE LOVE OUR TEAM AND OUR COMMUNITY! WE WANT THIS OWNERSHIP TO WAKE UP AND DELIVER ON THEIR END OF THE BARGAIN! That is the point we are trying to deliver to the media and Mr. Richardson. Who are we? We are the heart and soul of the Panthers; their most loyal (and demoralized) fans.

We have taken the time and chipped in some money to go public with our views and open the fact-based discussion. We get criticized for speaking our mind and remaining anonymous. Everyone knows who Mr. Richardson is but,with rare exception, he chooses to stay silent. Which do you think is worse.

You guys in the media take the torch from here. Pressure Mr. Richardson to lay-out a specific and plausible turn-around plan. We have done our part and hope you will help get this ownership to deliver on theirs.

Respectfully, TRUE PANTHER FANS EVERYWHERE!

Full body

If you half-close your eyes and squint, that could be me getting out of the water.

5 rft:
5 back squats @ 165lb (a2g)
5 dumbbell bench presses @ 50s
Time = 7:59

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5 rft:
10 kipping pull-ups
10 plate push-ups
Time = 8:30

That's 1:46 slower than Paul. Bollocks! :-)

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30 straight leg raises

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All of the above was done at ABsolute Fitness in the morning. In the afternoon, I had a 45 minute swim at Stonecroft. It's the first time I've been in a UV pool, which uses ultraviolet light for water disinfection, rather than chlorine or salt. Actually, this was the first time I've been swimming since I started taking better care of myself. I forgot what a good workout it can be.

Full body

Seriously?

This week is going to busy, so I'll be doing shorter, full body routines, rather than my usual focused workouts.

Squat cleans
95lb x 8, 8, 6, 7

That's a one rep improvement in the third set.

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10 rft:
15 deadlifts @ 135
15 push-up
Time = 18:25

The last time I did this routine was back in July 2011, when I finished in 28:00. I knew Paul's time was unattainable, but day-um, that's 9:35 faster. At least my improvement is better than his - ha! :-) Just like last time, I shredded my right shin - why not the left? - and left my dna all over the bar. I didn't rush, but stayed focused and disciplined, even when someone decided to come and start a conversation during the deadlifts. The first round was unbroken, and all the rest of the deadlifts were broken down into 5s. 

A short but satisfactory workout today.

1st world problems

I'm sitting in Starbucks with my large Peppermint White Mocha and my Cranberry Bliss Bar that costs appoximately $8 (note: this is $1 more than Corey Booker recieved for a days food when attempting to live on welfare for a week) when I something struck me.  I was completely annoyed today because I my morning meeting cancelled at the last minute and my housekeeper arrives "sometime" on Friday mornings meaning I can't work from my comfy virtual office.  I'm even typing this on my bluetooth key board and new iPad wrapped in a Cole Haan Italian leather case.  Yes, this is the cause of my crabbiness...someone else's world fell apart this morning not allowing me the distraction I was hoping for while someone else cleaned my apartment.  To top it off, I just ran into a friend's husband who was downsized from his job after 20+ years on the job.  He was smiling and happy to see me even given how his world has been rocked.  It's official, my 1st world problems are irrelevant and need to be in check.

Typing all of this makes me sound like a high maintance diva.  You'll think what you want, so there's no need for me to defend it or share with you all of the charity work, donating, traveling to be with friends in need, etc that I do.  Whether it's called "diva" behavior on something else, it's a great reminder that what actually happens in my life is rarely fatal or cause for so much drama.  It's no wonder the hubs was looking at me this morning like I'd grown a second head.   There's so much good in my life and yet I'm worried about this.

So let's look at this morning in another way:  A friend thought highly enough of me to ask to reschedule, knowing I'd understand and be empathetic about a tough week.  My house is being cleaned by someone else, I'll come home to that fresh clean smell & have provided employment for someone else.  Plus my house is being cleaned by someone else! Did I mention that!?!?!?  In addition, I've ran into a candidate that I might be able to place in my "other" job as a recruiter.  Oh, and the Mayor came over to hug me and wish me a Merry Christmas.  Really?  These are my problems?  So as it turns out, I'm in pretty good shape.

Thanksmas 2012

Thanks to our cross country co-parenting arrangement we fit in holidays whenever schedules allow.  I credit my own mother (aka Mom1) for teaching me to accept this.  She's always had the "we'll make the best of the time we have" attitude & has been a great example of how to relax about the co-parenting schedules.  

In fact, today's her birthday so a big shout out to Mom1.  Happy Birthday & thanks for being such a great role model in this journey!  We love you! 

So here are few pics from Thankmas (that would be Christmas that we celebrated on Thanksgiving Day).  Again, nothing traditional about Thankmas but nothing ever is for us...

The Sonish's arrival at the airport.  (Yes, I'm that Momish with a camera)

An iconic Fort Wayne Christmas shot at One Summit Square downtown for the Festival of Lights

 Thanksmas in Chicago! We headed to Chicago Friday/Saturday of the holiday weekend to see some of our chosen family members.

 It's tradition for us to select a Tiffany ornament as a family.  This started last year while we were in NYC at the Macy's Parade and we decided to make it tradition.  One of the best parts of being a Momish is blending new traditions with the old ones.  Oh, and that's our dear friend Max photo bombing the pic.  :)

Stopping to pose for a picture with our dear friend Stephen outside of the iconic Palmer House Hotel in Chicago.   Isn't this Christmas wreath FABULOUS?  Of course everything's always done right at the Palmer House.  Absolutely beautiful.  And the smiles on all of our faces show what a great time we were having.

Panthers whip San Diego 31-7 -- doesn't it make you a little frustrated??

Doesn't it make you kind of frustrated? Doesn't it annoy you a little that the Carolina Panthers have chosen this time of year to play their best football?

The Panthers continue to play their best when it matters the least, whipping San Diego, 31-7, on the road Sunday.

That win, combined with the 30-20 stomping that the Panthers gave an Atlanta team that is now 12-2 last week in Charlotte, means the Panthers are 5-9 and have won consecutive games for the first time all season. (I covered the Atlanta game in person but watched the San Diego one from my couch -- check The Observer for great coverage from our three writers who attended the game).

Normally, December would be a great month to be playing great. But the Panthers started so horribly that by the time they lost a road game to woeful Kansas City on Dec.2nd, the rest of the season became largely irrelevant.

Well, it is relevant in one big way, in that some jobs are going to be saved around here because of it. Whether head coach Ron Rivera's is among them remains to be seen, but certainly the Panthers aren't going to undergo quite as dramatic a turnover in personnel as they would had they closed out the season, say, 3-13.

Instead, the Panthers (5-9) will end up somewhere between 7-9 and 5-11. Still a losing record, but not quite as dark a season as it once appeared.

But as Rivera said last week following the Atlanta game in a quote that could go for this San Diego game as well: "This shows exactly what we are capable of. That's the sad part."

Cam Newton has now thrown more than 150 passes in a row without an interception, breaking a team record (he hasn't had a pickoff in five games). Newton had two TD passes Sunday but left most of the running to the backs after coming up gimpy early on a big hit, including Mike Tolbert (two rushing TDs) and DeAngelo Williams Newton finished the game but obviously wasn't as mobile as usual.

It didn't matter because the Panthers' offensive line was superb and so was Carolina's defense. It made San Diego quarterback Philip Rivers look awkward and average, as he fumbled four times and was sacked six times. The Panthers were up 21-0 after the first quarter and 24-0 at halftime and basically coasted in from there.

So Rivera made his former boss, Norv Turner, more likely to get fired after his Chargers dropped to 5-9. And he made himself a little more likely to be retained with a Panther team that once again will be left to ponder, when this season concludes Dec.30th in New Orleans, what might have been.

5k Row

" ♫ All I want for Christmas is a six-pack...♪"

Unusual for me to train on a Sunday, but I had a rest day yesterday because my PT session was Friday. All clear?

Anyway, I wanted to try a simple WOD from a couple of weeks ago - row 5k for time. I don't think I've rowed for this type of distance before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I watched the demo video and it looks like most people were finishing around 20 minutes. However, I thought that might be a bit ambitious for me, so I aimed for roughly 25 minutes, about the time I take for a 5k run.

Row 5k for time
Time = 25:54 (average: 41 s/m)

That's roughly my time for a 5k run, so not too bad. I tried to maintain a steady pace throughout, as advised in the video, although that was easier said than done as I became more fatigued.

I don't know if I'll ever do this again, not because it was too tough, but because it was bloody boring! By the time I got to 1.5k, I couldn't wait for the damn routine to be over. Running 5k on the road is one thing, because the scenery changes, plus there are the mini-challenges when I overtake someone or they overtake me. But rowing 5k on a machine when all I can see are the stationary houses outside is pretty tedious. 

To make matters worse, about 10 minutes into my session, there was a power outage in New Hamburg, which meant the TV and lights in the Stonecroft gym all went out. There were three other people working out on machines at the same time as me, but as soon as the power went, so did they. I spent the next 15 minutes rowing in near darkness.

Can't wait to do some heavy lifting tomorrow...

Full Body

Personal training with Paul.

Reverse Fran
Time = 12:24

That's a damn sight quicker than my regular Fran (15:13), which surprised me. I thought I'd be slower because I'd become more fatigued as I progressed. Perhaps the earlier, shorter rounds allowed me to warm up my muscles more, though.

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The rest of today's session actually felt tougher by comparison.

Supersets:
Incline dumbbell bench press - 35s x 10, 10, 7, 6
Push-ups - 5, 7, 5, 6

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Dips - 7, 5, 5
Push downs - 30 x 8, 6, 5

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Cable flies/curls, drop sets
30s - 10, 7, 6
20s - 6, 5, 4

So, you want to be a momish...or you at least want an audition.

This is a guest post from my friend and single dad, Brian Gallagher. Brian works in the arts and is raising three great young men (triplet boys in fact) as a single, full custody, parent.  He knows quite a bit about dating while having kids at home so I'm thrilled that he's decided to share some of his knowledge.  Connect with him on Facebook, Twitter, or email at ajs3dad@gmail.com 

Tina:  Is your wife going to bring your kids down to the festival today?

Me:  No, I'm divorced and my ex-wife lives in St. Louis now.

Tina:  Oh, I didn't realize you weren't married.  How often do you get to see your kids?

*sigh*

My name is Brian, I have identical triplet sons who are almost 17, and I am not an alcoholic...yet.

I have full physical custody of my sons and have since 2010 when my ex-wife surrendered the joint custody of them to me when she returned to her hometown of St. Louis. In 17 years I have never missed a field trip, back to school night, camp out, parent-teacher conference, doctors appointment, bike ride, soccer game, tee-ball game or football game.  I've sat on uncomfortable benches in the cold and listened to awful middle school band concerts.  My sons are in the top 15 in their class, maintain AP classes, they volunteer for not-for-profit organizations, are Eagle Scout candidates, work 12-16 hours a week, do laundry, cook, clean and are very polite.  Overall, they are over-achievers and are very humble about it.

My ex-wife has one weekend a month for visitation, two weekends in the summer, every three-day weekend and we rotate every other Christmas and Thanksgiving. In total she has the boys about 65 days per year.

The boys are working so they can't take off for a weekend to my parent's house in Ohio so a weekend away with you is going to be hard to find.

I work in the entertainment business so when we have a show I have to work at night or I have to cover for a sick co-worker.  We may need to rain check a date or two...dozen.

I need to go grocery shopping.  I need to make sure they eat or I at least text them and point them in the direction of food.  Of course when we go out they'll text me and I'll have to check my phone.  That will get annoying.

Did the laundry and dishes get done?  Man, I used to have someone who helped me with this stuff including paying the bills.  I have the money for them; I just forget to pay them some times.

Damn!  The pug.  I need a pug sitter if I leave for the night.  Yes, she does have to sleep in the bed once in a while and since she is a pug she will shed on anything you have.  Don't wear black when you come to the house.  The snoring isn't anything she can help...you need to learn to love her grunts, snoring and wrinkles.  She is awesome.

Did I make my bed this morning?  I usually do but this morning I

sprung out of bed to watch A.J. drive away with his brothers in the car.  Then I cried a little.  I do that.  It may be allergies.  It may also be me realizing that in 20 months they'll be gone from my home and I'll have to figure out how to live with out them for the first time in 18 years.

Where was I?  Time.  Yeah, I don't have a ton of it.

What if you are flexible in your schedule?  Can you roll with last minute schedule changes?  What if you roll the dice and try dating a single dad?

You get a man who knows dedication.

You get a man who knows what he is worth and what he deserves.

You get a man who puts you right beside his children and loves you all.

You get a man who values the time that you give to him because he doesn't have a ton of it himself.

You get a man who shows you respect because his children are watching.

You get a man who moves heaven and earth to celebrate YOUR accomplishments and won't leave you waiting for the party.

You get a man who has fallen in love with smiling faces every day on his children and would love to see yours every morning.

You get a man who answers your phone calls with the anticipation of saying "Love you, see you soon" at the end

You get a man who can change a diaper while putting together reports for work; cooking dinner and checking the clock to see how soon you get home because he wants couch time.

You get a man that has cartoons, zombie movies, comedies and a couple of romantic movies already in his DVD collection.

You get a man who can change a tire or tell you how to over the phone...wait, where are you?  I'll come and help.  I need to get cereal anyway for breakfast when I am out.

You get a man who has bought EVERY feminine product on the market and never blushes about it.

You get a man who already has nine pillows on his bed and six extra on the kid's beds in case you want to build a fort.

You get a man who is a great decorator because he watched home improvement shows with his ex-wife for sixteen years.

You get a man who knows the difference between stripper heels, pumps, flats and shoes you can dance in.

You get a man that will CALL YOU ON THE PHONE and ask you out on a date.

You get a man who will always open a door for you because his mother taught him that was the way you show a woman respect.

You get a man who will cook dinner for you, rub your feet, massage your shoulders and expect nothing in return.

You get a man who, if he loses his job, will not quit hustling every day until he becomes employed again because he has kids to feed and shelter.

You get a man who will put you first because he is ready for a future full of adventure, caring, cuddling and growing old together.

You get a man who wants his sons to see what a stable, loving and secure relationship is like because he chose you and you are a role model.

Oh...you also get my three amazing sons who are raised but are in need of a friend who they can talk to, learn from, honor and appreciate.  A momish.